


I'm Still Standing (Looking Like a True Survivor)

by sunny204



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunny204/pseuds/sunny204
Summary: Angus MacGyver had known he was different from the tender age of 5.He's a Sentinel and being a Sentinel is challenging in and of its self. But then this Sentinel had to go and fall in love with one, Jack Dalton.Typical.
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 41





	1. Control

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [it is an ever-fixed mark](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18708421) by [green_tea31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_tea31/pseuds/green_tea31). 



> This is my first fic in a long time and a fandom I've never written in before. I read a fic by green_tea31 and fell in love with in and the world it was set in so I thought I'd take a crack at it myself. This is self betaed so all mistakes are my own. I read through it a few times but if you guys notice anything let me know in the comments. Comments are truly appreciated. I will try to post a new chapter every week but we'll see, life might get in the way. And without further ado, enjoy!  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 1/4/20: Hey guys me here again, making more changes. I wanted to apologize to everyone who already read the first chapter. It was half-assed and horrible. I was so excited about the concept that I busted my ass and wrote the whole thing in an hour. I was so mad at myself, I kept going back and rereading it and hating it so I kinda rewrote the whole first chapter? *hides* Its like twice as long now and much better, I think. I have the second chapter all written, I'm just making changes before I post it like I did to this one. Hope you guys like it! As always, all mistakes are my own.

Angus MacGyver had known he was different from the tender age of 5. 

He had been playing with his toys in the living room. He had them scattered around the room, some of them in places where someone might step on one accidentally and start yelling the bad words his mom told him he wasn’t allowed to say. He was currently taking apart his toy truck. It was a big, red, metal truck with large, black wheels that stuck out from the sides. He currently had all the wheels off, in a pile on the ground to his right, and was working on taking off one of the side panels when he heard it. 

The crunch of metal on metal, like what he heard when his father watched movies late. The next sound was the sound of something snapping in half, like the plastic cooking spoon his mother had broken in half after she had gotten into a fight with his father. Later he would find out that that sound, the sickening crack and break, almost too easy to be what it was, was bone breaking. Just as he was about to think nothing of it and go back to his toys, he heard a scream. He looked around the room, and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Then, he heard it again. It sounded so familiar to him, but when he thought about it, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

The world went blank and he focused on that sound. He couldn’t seem to think about anything other than the crunch of metal on metal, bone breaking, the distant scream that was so familiar. He toy truck lay forgotten at his feet as he focused on the sounds. They played over and over again in his head until he lost track of how many times he had heard them. The last thing he remembers hearing is his mother’s screams. 

…

He regained conscious thought later on. He wasn’t sure how much later, because there was nothing but artificial light in the room, but he was sure about one thing, he was no longer in the living room surrounded by his toys. He was in a white, sterile smelling room. His dinosaur pj’s, which he had been wearing while playing with his truck, had been replaced by a white and blue polka dot hospital gown. He had worn something similar when he had gone to the hospital last week after cutting his hand with one of his toys. His father had yelled at him the entire way home about taking apart his toys because _“you’re not supposed to do that Angus, you’re supposed to play with them. That’s it. You keep breaking them and I’m tired of having to buy you new ones.”_

The first thing he noticed about the room was how quiet it was. It reminded him of when he got out of bed when it was still dark outside, in the early hours of the morning, because his brain refused to turn off, with his parents still asleep in their room. It was always so quiet that you could almost hear the silence. The next thing he noticed was the bed he was on. It was really firm and uncomfortable, unlike his soft bed at home, and the sheets were scratchy, stiff, and a bleached white color to go with the walls. 

As Angus looked around the room more, he noticed that there were no windows, which explained seeing only artificial light in the room, and only one small door, painted all white, including the handle, as though it was meant to blend in with the walls. The only other things in the room were a white side table with a glass of water resting on it, the water crystal clear and completely still, like it had been sitting there for a while, and a clear bag hooked onto a silver rolling cart that kind of looked like the coat rack in the front hall at home. The clear bag had a long tube attached to it, that when he followed the length of it with his eyes, was attached with a piece of tape to his hand. He tried to shake it off, which hurt a little bit, so he left it alone for now. 

There was a loud bang to his left, the same direction as the door was in, and the sound made his head pound and him feel dizzy and nauseous. The sound made him want to curl up under the covers and cover his ears. 

Two tall shapes moved closer to him, one on either side of the bed and it was only then that he could make out who its was. The figure to his left was his father, wearing the same olive colored button up shirt and black slacks that he had been wearing the night before after coming home from work. He looked tired and unkempt, shirt wrinkled with the top 3 buttons undone, like he hadn’t been sleeping. The man to his right was someone Angus didn’t recognize. He was an older man with silver and white hair, big round glasses, and a white lab coat that matched the color of everything else in the room. 

“Hello Angus, my name is Doctor Matthews. How are you feeling?” Angus winced at the sound. The man with the lab coat was looking at him with kind, hazel eyes, but for the life of him, Angus could not figure out why the man was yelling at him. Did he cut his hand on his truck again and make his father, and this doctor mad?

On instinct, Angus put his tiny hands over his ears to shield himself from the doctor’s much too loud words. At the same time he heard the sounds that he had heard before. The same metal colliding, bone breaking, screaming. It made him sick to his stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to get the sound out of his head but it wasn’t working. It kept playing over and over again.

“James, close the door please. I know what’s happening to your son.” The much too loud doctor said, making Angus whimper at the noise. 

Over all the other sounds he could hear, the screaming, the doctor, the pounding of his heart, he heard the scrap of his father’s slacks against the wall as he got up. He heard the creak of the hinges in the door and a soft click as it shut. He heard the blissful quiet of the room again. It was only then that he opened his eyes and uncovered his ears. 

It turns out that Angus is a Sentinel. Sentinels are normal humans, they don’t have super powers or anything, that have enhanced senses. Of the five senses: touch, taste, smell, hearing, sight; each Sentinel has one sense that is much better than the rest. There are also true Sentinels. True Sentinels are much more rare because instead of just one enhanced sense, all of their senses are enhanced. There hasn’t been a true Sentinel seen in over a thousand years. 

Angus is a really powerful Sentinel if he understands the doctor correctly. What the doctor is not sure about it how powerful Angus is or will be. The doctor doesn’t really say anything to him since he’s so young, he just listens in and picks up on key words and phrases that he understands, as the doctor and his father discuss the whole thing over his head. Apparently, Angus is one of the youngest Sentinels to be seen in over a century. He’s also the first Sentinel in his family line. Being a Sentinel is interesting because no one can quite figure out how they come into being, especially if they are the first one in their family line. 

Usually Sentinels don’t start showing their enhanced abilities until their late teens and early 20’s. This is good thing because of the bonding that goes along with being a Sentinel. Sentinels can remain unbound their entire lives, if they can learn to control and ground their ability. There has not been a documented case of any Sentinel remaining unbound past the age of 30. They either go mad as their ability tears them apart from the inside out, or, they have to picked up by the Center and then they are never heard from again. 

Angus found out later on that he had been in this room, unconscious (zoned out is what the doctor had called it) for 5 days. He didn’t remember ever leaving the living room and his toys behind. He had also been taken to the local hospital first for a couple of days before they called the Center. He had been in the hospital conscious, eyes open but unseeing, completely still and silent. The doctors had no idea what to do with him so they called the Center. One smart doctor had suspected what has happening, but because of how young he was, they weren’t sure. It turns out that doctor was right. 

The Center was a place that catered to the needs of Sentinels and their Guides. They helped new Sentinels gain control over their ability until they could be matched with the right Guide to bond with. The Guide they were matched with had to be compatible in strength or the bond would fall apart and the Sentinel would still succumb to the madness. Since this wasn’t the 17th century anymore, where Sentinels were just bound to the most compatible Guide in order to keep the madness at bay, they also gave the Sentinels a choice in bonding partner, even though that made the process more complicated and take longer. Since Angus was so young, and the bonding required something no 5 year old should be put through, they would have to teach him to control his ability, which ever one it was, and ground himself until he was of age and they could find him a compatible Guide. 

Angus was currently in one of the Center’s isolation room, which explained the quiet and the fact that he couldn’t hear anything beyond the room, especially the horrible sounds that still echoed faintly in his head. The doctor decided that they were going to observe him for a few more days until they a) figured out what ability he had and b) had taught him how to control it enough to be reentered into society. The doctor told him that as long as he could stand up and walk on his own, he was allowed to leave the room and walk around the Center so that they could help him control his ability. They were going to teach him how to figure out what his ability was, most likely hearing based on what the doctor had observed so far, and how to dial it down so that in never became more than he could bear. 

He was able to stand up and walk around the room, so his father and the doctor followed him as he moved to the door and opened it. 

To say Angus is powerful was a huge understatement on the doctor’s part. As soon as he opened the door and stepped out of the quiet room, all the sounds around him hit him like a freight train. He could still hear the sound of the car crashing and the screaming and so much more. He could hear someone eating something crunchy, the sounds of multiple tv programs on at once, the wind rustling the leaves on the trees in the garden. He bent over and threw up the contents of his stomach, which was nothing since he had not eaten in 5 days, and then clutched his head. His father and the doctor both surrounded him as he fell to the floor. He curled up into a ball, closed his eyes and covered his ears, trying to block out the world. His mind went blissfully blank and then the world went black. 

When he woke up, he was in the same room, on the same terribly uncomfortable bed. The same doctor was in his room once more with his father. He tired to explain to Angus what had happened to him and how they were going to help him so it did not happen again.

Basically, he was a really powerful Sentinel with the ability of hearing (which was completely inaccurate, but nobody by Angus knew that) and the Center was going to help him control his power so that he could go outside without fainting. 

Many things changed for Angus that day. He had found out that he was a really powerful Sentinel, but he also found out that he no longer had a mother. The doctor, not his father, who sat in the corner of the room looking anywhere but his son, explained to him that the sounds that he had zoned on that brought him to this moment, was his mother’s death. She was coming home from the grocery store. She had bought all the ingredients to make a nice pasta dinner with a garlic bread when she was crashed into by someone who ran the red light. She was killed instantly. 

The other thing that Angus lost that day was his father. While the man sitting in the room with him had helped bring him into the world, he no longer seemed to care about his son or seemed interested in caring for him. He was a ghost of his former self, which was a change caused by his mother’s death. Angus wouldn’t quite understand this change, this new side to his father, until one day he took his packed bags, walked out the front door of his grandfather’s house, and never came back. 

…

It took many weeks of trial and error, zoning out, fainting, before Angus finally learned to control his ability(s). He taught himself, kind of like how he took apart and rebuilt so many of his toys at home before everything had gone sideways. He let the Center’s doctors and specialists believe they were helping him during the day, but he did most of his learning at night. He would get up a few hours after someone had put him to bed, and explore the center in the dark so that he could test out **all** of his abilities.

I know what you’re thinking and you’re right, Angus is a true Sentinel. He figured that out the first night when he zoned on one of the flowers he touched in the garden and only just got out of it with enough time to run back to his room and pretend that he had been sleeping the night away when one of the nurses brought him breakfast. He tested his theory every night for the next week, trying to figure out how far he could go without getting caught. 

Once the Center believed he had enough control on his ability to enter society without wanting to curl up and die, the doctors signed off on his paperwork and let him go home. Instead of going to his house however, his father made a left out of the Center’s parking structure and turned onto the freeway. Angus knew exactly where they were going, his grandfather’s house. They drove for an hour or so, Angus lost track of time, before they pulled up in front of a small, one story tan colored house with a concrete porch and a familiar wooden porch swing. 

His grandfather was standing in front of the red front door, smiling at Angus. As soon as Angus had closed the door of the car, his father was speeding off down the road. He looked back at his grandfather and noticed the his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He also saw that it looked kind of sad. Like the kind of smile you gave someone to say everything was going to be alright was reality was the exact opposite. His grandfather hugged him, squeezing him tighter and holding onto him longer than he usually did when Angus came for a normal visit. He knew then that something was not right. 

He had been inside, curled up on the couch for hours, the sun finally starting to dip in the sky, watching the cartoons his grandfather had put on for him, when the door opened and his father came inside. He was carrying a couple of leather duffles, a white laundry bag that held all of Angus’s toys that had been scattered around the living room when everything went belly up and his favorite dinosaur backpack, the one that his mother had given him on his last birthday that matched his pjs.

His father handed him the bag with all of his toys and Angus wasted no time and dumped them all out onto the floor. His grandfather smiled at him, a real genuine smile this time. He reached for his red toy truck and picked up right where he left off, continuing to feel around so that he could take off the side panel without breaking it. His grandfather, still smiling at him, reached into his pocked and pulled out a little red keychain looking thing with a white logo on it. He switched one of the silver parts so that a pair of what looked like dull scissors popped up. 

“Try this buddy.” He handed the little red thing to Angus and in less than thirty seconds, he had the side panel off, completely intact. 

“Thank’s grandpa.” Angus said, before turning back and continuing with the other side.

His grandfather chuckled at him and walked into the kitchen with his father. They would have been just out of his ear shot if he had been normal.Their discussion got louder and louder until Angus had to dial down his hearing so that he almost couldn’t hear them. He didn’t want to hear them. The next thing he knew, his father was grabbing both of the duffle bags that he had thrown on the couch when he came inside and was slamming the door open and then closed behind him. His grandfather followed him out, opening the door more gingerly than his father had done, and was calling after him. He gave up a few minutes later when Angus heard a car pulling out of the driveway. His grandfather came back inside and gave Angus the same sad smile he had a few hours earlier. He put his hand on Angus’s shoulder, patted it a few time, and left the room.

Angus watched his grandfather walk down the hall and close the door to his room. He then turned to the front door and zoned on it. He didn’t mean to. He didn’t even know he was doing it. When he came out of it, a few hours later, because the living room was dark with just a sliver of moonlight spilling past the curtains, he didn’t know anything except that his father was gone, and that this time, he wasn’t coming back.

…

Fast forward 5 years and Angus is 10. Since his father’s leaving and his mother’s death he has changed a lot. He was no longer the happy carefree little boy he once was, but he tired to play the part for his grandfather so his didn’t worry him more than he already was. He spent less time sleeping during the night, he looked it up on the internet with the computer his grandfather had given him for his 10th birthday and found out he had something called insomnia. He spent more time working on controlling and grounding his abilities. He found out more about being a Sentinel, and a little bit about being a true Sentinel, though there wasn’t much research and documenting about them. He learned about the madness that would consume him in the future if he didn’t either learn control his powers or find a bonding partner. He looked that up too and found out that all Sentinels have a Guide out there somewhere, a person made for them, matched in strength and with the ability to pull them out of a zone once they were bonded. Guides watch over Sentinels and protect them. A bonded pair could stay friends, but the strongest pairs, the ones that keep Sentinels for going insane, have a romantic connection and complete their bonding by having s-. Angus stopped reading, but bookmarked the article anyway. He didn’t need to worry abut that part right now, he’s only 10 after all. His second thought about that was whether or not he could even find someone to bond with him. Would anyone even want him in that way?

He shook the thought from his head and instead decided he was going to control and ground himself. He didn’t need anyone to bond with and he was going to be the Sentinel to live past the age of 30 without going insane. 

He spends most of his time learning more about everything. Not just about Sentinels and Guides, but about all different subjects. He’s learning basic math right now in his 5th grade class, but at home he’s been taking a college level calculus class with some of the college savings his mother left him. He tries to distract himself from the insomnia, the dark hole in his chest, and the creeping _self doubt, loneliness, unloved_ that rears its ugly head in the dark corners of his mind ever since his father left him and his mother died. He learns to hide his sadness behind a mask of contentment for his grandfather, because he don’t want to talk about it and to his delight, nobody ever seems to ask. That’s just fine by him anyway. 

He exists this way for a few years, pretend to be normal, doing well in school, but always missing a couple questions on purpose so that no one thinks he’s anything other than average. He keeps his mask up, controls his powers, and continues taking some college classes on the side. He’s not okay, but he is living and he’s okay with that. That’s when he meets Bozer. 

Bozer is this annoyingly loud African American boy in his 3rd period, 7th grade biology class. They end up being lab partners because nobody else wants to sit with Angus, he’s used to it by now, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt, and Bozer won’t leave him alone. Honestly Angus should be more annoyed than he is. He hasn’t gotten this much attention since his mother was around, but again he tries not to think about that anymore because she’s gone, just like his father, and she’s never coming back, and not just because she doesn’t care about him anymore. 

He finds out that Bozer is a Guide because the boy won’t shut up for the life of him, even whispering random facts and thoughts to Angus when Mrs. Russell, their teacher, is explaining the experiment they will be preforming later on. He seems to know that Angus is not quite alright under his carefully placed mask because he sometimes gives Angus a sad smile, the same one his grandfather gave him all those years ago when everything went to shit, but he never asks. He just sticks close to Angus’s side and refuses to be brushed off. Bozer’s jokes and antics in class, his constant need to rile up Mrs. Russell, making her complain that he’s the reason she has a new grey hair everyday, overshadows some, not all but some, of the bad feelings that Angus has been carrying with him every since his father left. For the first time in years, Angus feels better. 

Oh, and one more thing. He’s no longer Angus.

_“Wilt Bozer, but call me Bozer, Wilt’s the name of my father.” The boy says, bright smile on his face. He looks at Angus as though it was implied that Angus would also offer up his name too. He doesn’t even understand why this boy, this Bozer, is talking to him, nobody else in class does._

_“Angus. Angus MacGyver.” Angus replies after a beat, finding himself unable to ignore the other boy._

_“Angus?” The boy glanced at him with a sour look on his face as Angus introduced himself and he shook his head. “That’s a weird name. I’m gonna call you Mac instead, that’s way cooler.”_

_He had only known Bozer for a few minutes, but it was a defining moment in his life and they became fast friends. He shifted from Angus to Mac. This transition meant that not only was he leaving Angus behind him, but also the death of his mother and the father who had abandoned him. And honestly, he was okay with that._

…

Years go by and Mac is steady, for the most part. He has his wobbly days, but with Bozer’s help, he’s able to pick himself back up and keep moving forward. The bad thoughts are still in the dark corners of his mind, but he is better and better at pushing them away. For the first few months that he and Bozer had become lab partners, Mac kept waiting for the day when Bozer would walk up to Mrs. Russell’s desk and ask for a new partner because he didn’t like Mac anymore. That never happened. After the first day, he even found Mac at lunch and ate lunch with him, babbling about nonsense and random things, always making Mac laugh and smile. He kept waiting for the day when Bozer wouldn’t sit with him for lunch anymore. That never happened either. Instead, Bozer invited him over to play games, to watch movies, and to sleep over, where there would be absolutely no sleeping involved and they would instead build a pillow fort and stay up all night, getting scolded by Bozer’s mom when she found them the next morning. 

Mac and Bozer were so close that Mac had entertained the idea that Bozer could be his Guide. The other boy had just found out last week that Mac was a Sentinel. He had only trusted him then after he had seen that Bozer was going to stick to him like glue. He didn’t tell him he was a true Sentinel. Nobody but Mac knew about that and he had planned to keep it that way. It turns out that Bozer loved Mac, but not that way, and he was also not strong enough to bond with him. After that, very awkward discussion and realization, the thought left almost a quickly as it had arrived. He was glad to have Bozer as a friend, even if that’s all they would ever be.

Many years later see Mac and Bozer both going to MIT. Mac loved every bit of his college experience. He met a girl named Frankie that he thought he was in love with. Turns out, he was not in love with her, but the idea of having someone, kind of like how he was with Bozer. She also, just like Bozer, was not strong enough to bond with him. 

At MIT, Mac found his love for science, building things, and helping people. He and Frankie would sneak out to the abandoned building on campus in the early hours of the morning and make things explode. It was awesome. His love for helping people is what drove him to enlist in the army. Bozer tired to talk him out of it. He thought that the reason Mac was going is because of the dark thoughts he had from time to time, telling him he wasn’t needed and that he should go die somewhere instead. He sat Mac down in their shared house and talked to him about his feelings. Mac reassured him that he just wanted to make a difference, a real difference in people’s lives, that’s why he wanted to go. Bozer was reluctant to let him go, but he did anyway with a hug and a smile. 

Mac joined the army as an EOD tech. His superiors were super concerned about him being a Sentinel, especially with how powerful he was. He legally had to put that on his enlistment form, much to his dismay. He told them he had control of over his ability(s) and they agreed to let him do a week’s worth of boot camp with the other recruits. If they saw even one slip up from him with his ability(s), they were going to pack his bag and send him home. Unsurprisingly, Mac passed training, the first week, and the rest, with flying colors. After the first week of completely normal behavior, his superiors started treating him like anyone normal, and following their lead, everyone else did too. He worked harder than anyone and became one of the best EOD techs they had every seen out of training.

…

He’s on a mission with his superior Peña and four other guys from his unit. Peña has a bad feeling about one of the houses that he’s supposed to disarm an IED in and orders Mac to stay outside. Mac is boiling with rage, but does as he’s told anyway. A few minutes later, there’s a loud noise and Mac is thrown backwards by a blast.

The death of his superior Peña rattles him and gives way to small cracks in his control. He lost another loved one that day and he’s not quite sure how to fix it. It’s like losing his mother all over again, (not his father, who became a shell of his former self once his mother was gone), because Peña cared for him. He went into that house first and ordered Mac to stay behind because he was worried about him. And then Peña is blown to bits and the only thing Mac can think is _‘it should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me’_ playing on a loop over and over again inside his head. He can’t zone on it though, he has to pull himself together. _“I’m in control, I’m in control, I’m in control”._

Everyone walks on eggshells around him for a few days as Mac tries to bring himself under control. All the guys on the base had known that Mac looked up to Peña as a father figure so they give him space to greave, as though he had really lost his father. What they all don’t know is that he already has lost his father, now he really has no one. Everything he used to do before to regain his control didn’t seem to be working and he was tearing his own hair out trying to dial his senses down. He almost has control back, hard fought to find it, until the hurricane that is Jack Dalton walked into his life. After that his control is lost and his mask crumbles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on I'm Still Standing:
> 
> The first time Jack Dalton met Angus MacGyver, he was punching him in the face.


	2. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I updated the first chapter a few days ago and if you haven't already reread it, you should. It has way more detail and it explains some things that were left kind of, well, not explained in the first draft. Now onto your regulatory scheduled author's note.
> 
> Me again, back with anther chapter a couple days earlier than I had said but you totally deserve it. Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and left kudos so far. You guys are amazing!!! ❤️ This chapter is from Jack's POV because we needed to learn a little bit about him too. As always, all mistakes are my own. Enjoy!

The first time Jack Dalton met Angus MacGyver, he was punching him in the face. 

They had disagreed about something. Jack was pretty sure it was because the kid acted like a complete know it all, _all the damn time_. Jack knows that he’s a genius, all of the boys in his unit never shut up about it, but that didn’t mean he needed to treat Jack like he was an idiot. He liked to play the part of a dumb hick from Texas because then a lot of the bad guys underestimated him and it made them a lot easier, and a lot more fun in Jack’s opinion, to take them down. 

Jack doesn’t even remember what they had been arguing about now, but it resulted in them rolling around trading punches while the other boys in their unit circled around them like this was a high school fight in the middle of the quad. If you asked Jack later on, and no one did which was kind of annoying, he won the fight because he was bigger, and stronger than the lanky kid MacGyver was. And just like a high school fight, their CO, a big no nonsense man named Martinez came to break it up a few minutes later. He yelled at both Jack and MacGyver for a few minutes before barking orders at the other boys who had been watching the spectacle. He then turned back to Jack and MacGyver to tell them that they would now be working together to defuse bombs. MacGyver would be the EOD tech since he was the best in the field and Jack would be his overwatch since he was the best in his field. 

As he walked away, they both looked at each other with twin expressions of shock on their faces. MacGyver was looking at him as though working with Jack was the most horrible thing that Martinez could have asked him to do. Later, after their first mission went well, and the _incident_ happened, Jack found out it was because MacGyver didn’t trust him to watch his back. Everyone who ever had his back had left him, except for his friend Bozer. That made Jack was to give him a hug and shield him from the cruel world. 

Neither of them moved for a minute and then MacGyver was the first to tear his eyes away. He looked around, like a scared animal ready to bolt, before high tailing it out of the room. Jack watched his go, scowling, not at MacGyver specifically, but at Martinez and his stupid ideas. Jack didn’t want an EOD tech and he certainly didn’t want _that_ EOD tech. 

…

Their first assignment was together was going surprisingly well. That made Jack anxious. He never liked it when missions went according to plan. You may be thinking to yourself, well why not, that means nothing unpredicted happened and everything went smooth.Good right? Nope. A mission going perfectly was a second away from complete disaster. It usually meant that something, or someone, bad was lurking just around the next corner, waiting for them to be at their most relaxed and vulnerable state before pumping them full of lead. Just the thought made him shiver and shake his head. 

He turned back to MacGyver who was quietly working away on the IED in front of him. When they first pulled up to it and MacGyver had confirmed it to be what they both already knew it was, he pulled out a little red Swiss army knife. Jack had actually laughed in his face when he saw what it was, making MacGyver scowl at him before getting to work. No way he could defuse a bomb with a little red knife right? Ridiculous. 

As it turns out, Jack was completely wrong. He was finding out just how skilled the kid actually was as he alternated between watching him work and watching his back. Everyone in their unit, including the superiors, were always talking about how MacGyver was the best, but Jack didn’t really believe their rumblings. Not until he saw it in person. MacGyver pulled out and cut a red wire with his little red knife before moving to examine a blue wire hidden under a silver square metal plate. The kid had been working quietly for about 10 minutes now, not acknowledging anything other the bomb in front of him. Jack supposed that was a good thing so that they both didn’t get blown up.

Jack huffed under his breath at his musings. _“I guess it’s a good idea I was assigned to watch his back then huh?”_

He didn’t want to continue watching the kid work. His too long blond hair was falling into his eyes and his back muscles ripples as he rolled his shoulders to keep them from cramping and adjusted his whole body to a more comfortable position to continue working on the IED. 

“I’m gonna go check around back to make sure we’re still clear.” He said to MacGyver’s back.

The EOD tech just nodded his head slightly at Jack’s statement, acting as though he had heard Jack say something, but hadn’t actually been listening or paying him any attention. Jack frowned at that, but walked away towards the spot he told MacGyver he was going to check. Who did this kid think he was anyway?

He continued towards the corner he was pretending to check for the fifth time because really, you couldn’t be too careful in situations like this. He’s seen and been in missions that have gone from peaceful to deadly in the blink of an eye because something wasn’t checked quite right. As he walked, he continued to spin in stride, turning back to look at MacGyver every now and then to make sure he was okay. Even though he couldn’t stand the kid, he also couldn’t stand the idea of having him blow himself up on his watch or get killed by someone Jack had accidentally over looked. Nope. Jack wanted to go home in 2 months when his tour was finally up without _that_ on his conscious. 

After making sure that corner was secure and bad guy free, he rounded back to where MacGyver was still hunched over the bomb. Honestly Jack thought he would be done by now. All the boys at the base said he was quiet and efficient when it came to IED’s, which were the only things Jack was hoping for out of their next 2 months together. He didn’t want to get to know the kid or become buds or anything like that, he just wanted to finish up and go home. 

As he got closer to MacGyver, he noticed that the kid was still examining the same blue wire from a few minutes ago. Seriously, was it really that interesting? 

“Kid, can you hurry up with that thing? We can’t stay out here much longer or something bad is going to happen and I don’t know about you, but I want to go home when my tour is up, and not in a body bag.”

The kid didn’t even have the gull to acknowledge him this time, which made Jack want to slap him upside the head, because really, who did this kid think he was? Before he could start fuming however, he noticed something odd. MacGyver was still. Jack had to look at him, I mean really look at him, to make sure he was breathing and that’s when he noticed just how still he actually was. It was not his ‘I’m thinking and calculating stupidly difficult math in my head’ kind of thinking. It was more like the ‘I’m zoned on something’ kind of stillness. The kind of thing that only happened to a Senti-. Jack stopped short.

_Shit._

…

Jack Dalton in a Guide. Honestly, he’s quite glad to be a Guide and not a Sentinel. That’s a lot more effort and heartache than he wants to deal with in one lifetime, thank you very much. Guides like to bond, but it’s not essential to life in the way it is for Sentinels. Bonding for Guides make them stronger and makes them feel complete. Jack has always heard that the sex is pretty great too, that is if your chosen Sentinel doesn’t just want to be your friend. 

Guides are supposed to protect Sentinels and guide them. That’s where the title came from. They all have the power of empathy, which by itself doesn’t seem that powerful, but it is. He can influence what other people are feeling and make them want to feel and do things differently than they are. He can get inside their heads. This makes Guides very powerful and very dangerous. When he bonds with his chosen Sentinel, he can also pull them out of a zone. Zones are pretty bad for Sentinels because it renders them basically useless until someone pulls them out of it, or until they can un-zone themselves eventually, if they’re powerful enough to do so, which depending on what they zoned on could take minutes, hours, or days. The worst ones have lasted for years. 

Jack showed his Guide abilities when he was about 25. It was at the age that everyone he knew was talking about bonding with their chosen Sentinel. He was excited, _giddy even,_ to find someone perfect for him in that way. Someone matched in strength. Someone he could bond with and share his mind, body, and soul with. 

That dream was squashed, like a bug on a windshield, when he met his first Sentinel. 

The guy’s name was David and he was 100 percent a dick. He thought he was the coolest thing to walk the Earth and acted as though he was above Jack just because of his heightened ability. His Sentinel ability was sight. He could see things that other people couldn’t which also gave him an ego bigger than the state of Texas, which is pretty big. Jack was paraded in front of this guys parents because David seemed to like him a lot and didn’t seem to want to let Jack get one word in on the matter. He wanted Jack to be okay with the fact that David had chosen him. If he recalls correctly, _grateful_ and _honor_ where somewhere in the grand speech the guy gave him before Jack had stormied out of the house. He had ended up walking almost 10 miles in the opposite direction of his apartment before he had calmed down enough to not stalk back to David’s house and beat the crap out of him. 

After that, Jack steered clear of all other Sentinels. He didn’t want, or need, someone like _that_ in his life. If Sentinels were going to be assholes, Jack thought it would be better to have a world were they all remained unbound and succumbed to the madness that claimed them. Dark world to live in, I know.

And just like that, his dream of finding his perfect match, the Sundance to his Butch, was gone. 

…

Jack took a minute, assessing their current situation, to figure out what to do next. He needed to get MacGyver out of the zone and fast, or it could end badly for them and he really, _really,_ wanted to go home to Texas in one piece. 

He didn’t know how powerful MacGyver was, since no one had bothered to tell him his EOD tech was a Sentinel in the first place, so he couldn’t just wait around for him to hopefully un-zone himself soon. Since they weren’t a bonded pair, because no thank you, Jack couldn’t use his empathy either. He would just have to find out what MacGyver’s ability was, and which sense he had zoned on, to use it to get him out. There were only 5 senses so it couldn’t be that hard to find out which one was his. He took another minute to decide, and based on his quick deductive reasoning skills, he concluded that MacGyver has to be zoned with either touch or sight because of what he had been doing before he zoned. 

He flipped an imaginary coin in his mind to help him decide and settled on touch first. He walked over to MacGyver so that he was crouched in front of him. He lifted the kids’ chin up gently. He was met with glassy, unseeing eyes. His eyes were blue, so blue, that Jack wanted to continue staring at them for ages. They were the most gorgeous color Jack had ever seen before and he wanted to continue to stare into them for hours. 

Before he could question his train of thought and shake the thought from his head, MacGyver jerked in his hold and stumbled forward, right into Jack. On instinct, Jack grabbed MacGyver to break his fall and fell on his back, the ground firm and warm beneath him. The extra weight that was MacGyver, and honestly the kid needed to eat more because he didn’t weight much at all, knocked the air out of him in surprise. 

Both men were breathing hard, Jack choking down breaths as he tried to get the air back in his lungs, and MacGyver taking deep breaths to slow his rapidly beating heart from coming out of the zone so suddenly. His blonde hair was once again falling into his eyes as he leaned against Jack’s chest. He was shaking a little bit, and his breathing was becoming more shallow. It sounded like he was almost on the verge of a panic attack. Jack put a hand on his left arm and started rubbing up in down, it hopes to sooth him and calm him down at the same time. He didn’t need him freaking out in the middle of what could suddenly become a war zone. He needed him thinking clearly. MacGyver startled at the touch and jumped away from Jack, making a hasty retreat. 

He stood a mere 10 feet away from Jack, back mostly to him. His face was pointed down, but Jack could still slightly see the look in his eyes. He saw _defeat, longing, fear, anger,_ as though MacGyver was waring with himself over what he was allowed to feel. He kept sneaking glances at Jack when he thought he wasn’t looking, even though Jack was looking because he couldn’t seem to look anywhere but the kid right now, seeming to wantto run back into Jack’s arms and soak up his warmth. It made Jack wonder just what had happened to this kid that made him sad, seeking comfort, and mad at himself about it all at the same time. 

“I’m all finished with the bomb.” MacGyver offered up, breaking Jack’s train of thought and the silence between them.

Jack felt a need deep within him to check on the kid anyway even though he seemed to reject Jack, and his touch, so much.

“Hey hoss, you good? You were zoned out there for a minute.” Jack was looking at him with kind eyes, his words laced with concern, not anger.

MacGyver turned so that he was facing Jack and looked at him with shock coloring his features. It was as though he didn’t remember zoning out at all, which depending on a multitude of factors, was entirely possible. Jack would be freaked out too if one minute he was watching MacGyver and the next he was on top of MacGyver as the kid rubbed his arm. 

“I…I was…I” MacGyver struggled to find his words in that moment. It was almost as though his brain was thinking way faster than his mouth could form the words so all the came out was nonsense. 

“It’s alright hoss” Jack spoke in a quiet voice, as though he was trying to sooth an animal seconds away from running, “I got you out of it.”

He looked at MacGyver, then at the bomb, and then at MacGyver again before continuing. “And if you’re finished with that thing, we should get the hell out of dodge before something worse happens.”

He tired to make a joke of it, hoping he could crack a smile out of MacGyver and they could both make light of the whole situation on the way back to the base. No such luck. MacGyver nodded slowly at what Jack had said before turning around and making his way back to the truck. He got into the passenger side and tilted his head against the back headrest, closing his eyes. He looked completely defeated. 

Jack got into the truck and immediately noticed the air between them. You could cut it with MacGyver’s little Swiss army knife it was so thick. Somebody was going to have to break the silence between them eventually, but Jack definitely didn’t want to be the one to do it. He also didn’t want to drive back to the base like this. He would go stir crazy. Thankfully, MacGyver decided to speak first. He cleared his throat to get Jack’s attention and turned in his seat as much as he could. He opened his eyes, but tilted his head down, almost like he was a little kid about to apologize after being scolded by their parents. His golden blonde hair was failing in front of his eyes again, also helping to shield most of his face as he started to speak. 

Jack was watching the whole scene in front of him and his mouth watered just a little before he could get control of himself. The kid was absolutely beautiful. Jack wanted him badly. But, he was a Sentinel and Sentinels were horrible. He could be the friend of a Sentinel but he never, _ever_ , wanted to bond with one. 

“I supposed you want to bond with me now right?”

Say what?

The thought had come from far left field, so far that Jack would have spit out his drink, if he had been drinking anything at the time, because of how WTF the question was. Jack was so stuck in his own thoughts that he hadn’t seen how MacGyver had looked at him, a deep red blush rising, starting at his neck, just peaking out from underneath his uniform collar, before coming to color his checks. He had opened and closed his mouth multiple times, trying to figure out how to say what he had just said. Jack didn’t notice any of it. 

To say Jack was floored by his question would be an understatement. He had no idea where that had come from. Well, he had _some_ idea but that didn’t mean it was any less surprising. Some people, still stuck in the ways of a time long _long_ past, believed that any Guide that could get a Sentinel out of a zone were an instantly compatible pair that shouldn’t waste the opportunity. But just like the Center says, all Sentinels, and Guides for that matter, get a choice in who they bond with. There has to be consent, or the Center can take legal action against the person. 

Even if Jack did want to bond with MacGyver, not saying he does but if he did (which he doesn't anyway because he still hates the kid) it would only happen if it was something they both wanted and not just because MacGyver had this stupid idea in his head. Probably something put there by a parent still living in the distant past. 

“NO”

The kid flinched at his outburst. It was so loud, too loud now that Jack reflects back on it, because it bounced around the trucks metal cabin and echoed before fading. MacGyver looked up a Jack, blue eyes wide and fearful, stinging with something. _Rejection,_ his mind supplied helpfully. If Jack could roll his eyes at himself, trust me, he would. Instead, he cursed himself silently for saying, no, more like yelling, the first thing that popped into his head rather than taking a moment to think about it like any normal sane person would have done. 

“Look kid-MacGyver,” Jack corrected himself quickly, not wanted to make the kid feel worse than he already did with his outburst. “I’m not looking for a bond right now. I just helped you because that’s what I do. What we do. I would do it for anyone.” The last part was a total lie, but nobody but Jack needed to know that right now. 

Jack had hoped his explanation would smooth things over with MacGyver and they could go back to the way things where before this cluster fuck of a mission. _See, I told you everything always goes to shit,_ Jack thought to himself. MacGyver just nodded at him again and tried to school his sad features into a smile. It looked more like a grimace. 

“Good, I’m not looking for one either.” Though, as he said the words, it sounded anything but good. 

Jack decided it was time for them to get going after that and he started driving. The silence stretched between them all the way to the base. MacGyver went back to leaning against the back headrest, eyes closed, features tense and uncomfortable. For some reason, Jack felt like he had failed a really important test.

…

_2 Months Later_

Mac was leaning against a truck, waiting for his new overwatch. He had been told that Dalton had gone that morning, just like he was scheduled, and honestly, Mac was sad. He was sad that Dalton had left without saying goodbye and sad that he was leaving Mac alone, _just like everyone else._ He and Dalton hadn’t been the closest of people. Mac wouldn’t call them friends because they definitely weren’t. At least after that first mission, they didn’t act like they hated each other any more. Martinez would be proud of them. He didn’t expect Dalton to come to his bunk and give him a hug or anything like that before he left, but he didn’t even say goodbye. That hurt.

After their first mission, they never mentioned Mac being a Sentinel and Jack being a Guide and that unspoken rule was fine by both of them. They worked really good together despite their rocky start and Dalton had been really good at watching his back. Dalton was gone and now Mac was going to have to train a new overwatch. He would have of course already be trained to be an overwatch, but he didn’t know Mac like Dalton did. He would have to relearn this overwatch and the overwatch would have to learn him. Mac was tired and he honestly didn’t feel like training anyone in ‘ _How to not get Mac Killed: 101’._

“You good hoss?” Mac started and almost slipped in the sand as he whipped his head around in the direction that voice had come from. He would recognize that Texas drawl from anywhere. 

Dalton was walking towards him, in full uniform with a backpack slung over one shoulder. He looked like he had just gotten off the plane from civilization to hell and couldn’t wait to get started. He was smiling that full, all teeth smile of his and it was directed right at Mac. It made his heart swell and his cheeks heat up despite the heat already surrounding them. 

“Dalton, what the hell are you going here?” Mac resisted the urge to hug him and never let go, because they weren’t even friends. Not even friends didn’t give not friends hugs. Mac had been told he was going home. His tour was up and he didn’t like Mac, what was he still doing here? For the first time in his life, it was an equation that Mac didn’t immediately understand. 

“Somebody’s got to keep your sorry ass from getting shot until your tour is up. I volunteered.” He was still smiling as he said it. He walked around to the other side of the truck Mac was currently leaning on and got in behind the wheel. “Get it, we’ve got work to do.” 

Mac, still stunned by Dalton’s disappearance and sudden reappearance, opened the door and got in.He didn’t know what Dalton’s intentions were or why he wanted to stick around. He spent the last 2 months, the entire time he was with Mac, complaining about making it home to Texas alive and well. The fact that he couldn’t stand to miss another Cowboy’s game was always his go to retort. 

Why was he here? The only person to stick around Mac had been Bozer and he was still waiting for him to leave. How could he trust Dalton to stick around when he had almost left him. He says almost because he left, sort of, but them immediately came back. 

“We’re going to be working together a lot, call me Jack.”

Mac looked over at him and smiled his first real smile in many years. It made Dalton-Jack smile at him. Mac would do anything to keep him smiling. 

“Call me Mac,” Mac said, and the giggled to himself as he remembered something Bozer had said to him as a child. “It’s way cooler.” 

Jack laughed at that statement, a beautiful sound that Mac would do anything to hear again, and started driving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on I'm Still Standing:
> 
> Mac was hopelessly in love with Jack Dalton. He was constantly torn between exploding with it and crying because of how sad it makes him.


End file.
